
Don't believe in God? Join the club.
A million New Yorkers are good without God. Are you?
Are you good without God? Millions are.
Don't believe in God? You are not alone.
These messages on billboards are stirring up a great deal of conversation. They have been railed against, complained about, and in several cases defaced by “Christians”. I can't help noticing that while the intent is just the opposite, one word is the common theme between them, “God”.
The billboards and bus ad campaign they are a part of is being run by United COR. The Coalition of Reason is a loosely knit group of “nontheist” organizations across the United States. They claim there is no intent toward causing controversy, they are simply letting us all know that they are there, that they exist. They say they are hoping to attract more un-believers to join their club.
They had better watch out. They just might get their wish. As a man who has grown up in and around all sorts of Churches my entire life, I would send them a warning, beware institutionalization, it will kill your message.
Here's what I mean. As long as you remain a loosely knit band of individuals with a common bond you are free to believe as you always have, free to carry out your life mission with little outside interference. But once you have hung out the proverbial “shingle” that's when the jello hits the fan.
Take the Christian Church for instance. For the first two or three centuries everything went along pretty much as planned. Oh, sure there was the odd stoning now and then and the whole “feeding Christians to the lions” thing was kind of a bummer, but all-in-all the Church was a huge success. They had nearly completed the great commission when they got in bed with Rome and became an institution, Church buildings, professional clergy, worship on Sundays and the veneration of the saints were just a few of the upgrades that Roman Emperor Constantine brought to the table.
What had once been a thriving, flourishing, life giving community now became something to be reckoned with, a political and social juggernaut, complete with all that that entails. Now they had real power that was recognized in the real world, by governments ans stuff, not just “God”.
What the “non theists” have in their favor now and what the early Church had going for it was the ability to live out their faith, or lack thereof, in reasonable anonymity, making converts on a one-on-one basis and sharing life together. This organic approach resembled almost nothing of what the modern church has become.
The modern Church spends most of her time responding to whatever the world is up to. We support this or that political movement, we hiss and boo at Quran burners, we wave our flags and “support the troops”. We are very relevant to the culture around us, which we are learning to welcome with open arms. We have standing in our communities, many of our leaders are respected for their political insight. We have a position on just about everything, we have to, its expected, people are gonna ask.
What we don't have is a plan to share the gospel with the hurting in our communities. We spend so much time figuring out how to cammouflauge it so that they will swallow it without knowing that we have little time left for actual interaction. We are caught up in programming and “worship experiences”...
And its beginning to catch up to the un-believers too. Already the “non theists” are classifying themselves with a list of denominations. According to unitedcor.org there are many groups that are a part of their network:
Atheists
Agnostics
Ethical Culturists
Free Thinkers
Humanists
Rationalists
Realists
Skeptics
Secularists
&
Unitarian Universalists, to name a few.
They have already established non-profit status and have three full time members “On staff”. What's next? I suspect, as is the nature of human institutions, that these “free thinkers” are not as free as they might think. Before too long, business owners will grow weary of them meeting in their coffee shops, and even the hardiest members will resent the coffee stains on their living room sofas, and they, like many before them will be looking for a permanent home. All the while their agenda will be forming, from loose and free to "focused" and "effective".
Once this happens, more staff will be the likely outcome. Jobs need rules and once those are written there will need to be someone to enforce them, not to mention that the heads of organizations rarely submit to rules that their members are not also asked to abide by. Before you know it they will have their own “orders of worship” if you will. It is only a short step from here to needing to establish an “orthodoxy”, print bumper stickers and T-shirts and start their own counterculture music industry to support their non-ministry. In short, they are in danger of losing their organic, homespun, community and becoming a “church” complete with heretics who speak out against their “doctrine”.
Misery loves company as they say! The more the merrier! Just don't say we didn't warn you. Look on the bright side, since Mormons are now "christians" (Glenn Beck) I'm sure we can eventually make room for you too. It won't be too long before your best and brightest speakers can share that spotlight and rake in some of the easy pickin's in the televangelist game. Welcome to the neighborhood. What kind of childrens' programs do you guys offer?
I am taking this a little more slowly. A reasoned discussion will bring better results and keep the bond of Christ between us intact, and out of respect to my brother Jason, whose space we are airing our opinions in, and I know he hates bickering.
First let me say that our paths have crossed more than once, we have many friends in common and I know you by reputation to be a follower of Christ and a worthy man. We are congenial acquaintances, lacking proper knowledge of each other to use the term friend in any meaningful way.
As to your comment about the Reformed LDS. While it is true that they have backed away from BY and his more aggressive teachings, they are not, properly speaking, the Mormon Church. They also still hold as scripture a book translated by a young man in the nineteenth century, through the use of a mystical pair of glasses which he claimed gave him and him alone the power to read a set of gold plates covered in what he claimed to be Early Egyptian glyphs that was delivered to him, with no other witnesses by an angel revealing its whereabouts.
A transcript of a portion of one of these tablets was seen by an expert on Egyptian artifacts and proved to be nothing like the book that the young Mr. Smith transcribed. In addition, the plates have since disappeared, taken back into hiding, so the story goes, for their protection.
This book claims to contain the history of a people on the North American continent whose lives paralleled those in Palestine throughout the Biblical era. The book says, that after his ascension and claim that he would not return until he came to judge the world, Jesus visited the peoples of the Americas, called followers and preached a sequel to his earlier gospel that revealed, among many other things, the restoration of the Aaronic priesthood for the salvation of the church and restoration of temple worship.
Mr. Smith claimed, on his own merit, to be a prophet of God and began to establish a religion. He was a known polygamist, and child molester. He was accused on more than one occasion of thievery and murder. He was chased from several other places by the authorities for fear of his 800 man army, that was supposedly raised for his defense, before his death in Carthage Illinois. He had prophesied before this that his people would establish a new Zion in the Rocky Mountains and that all the nations of the earth would be saved through it. In a disputed statement made by him, he alludes to a time when the American Constitution would hang as if by a single silken thread, ( a statement I have heard Glenn echo) so perilous would be the threat of its destruction, and that a mormon political figure would rescue it and save the world . (google white horse prophecy)
All of these things the RLDS still hold as gospel, equal to our scripture. Brigham Young, was appointed as Mr. Smith's successor, led the mormons to Utah where they are accused of many heinous crimes against native and settler alike, and became not only the head of the Mormon Church, but the territorial and first state governor of Utah after claiming that God had commanded his people to take a hiatus from the principle of Plural Marriage. This god ordained break, conveniently, occurred at the time Utah was being prevented from acceptance into the union because of their stance on polygamy.
Among the other teachings that JS brought and are believed by all mormons, to my knowledge, include the substitutionary baptism of the living for the dead. So much so that they are obsessed with collecting genealogical records, because it is believed that we can be baptized to save our own ancestors who have proceeded us in death. They have the most complete genealogical record of any on earth. They believe in good stewardship and storing up for the future welfare of their families. In fact, “home storage” as it is known, is built into a safe room in many Mormon households, including weapons. This benign organization's members are among the most heavily recruited by the FBI, the CIA and the NSA. It is no mistake why they are now “coming out” as it were, as public figures. They intend to lead and have amassed the gold and guns to fill the gap should our society crumble around our ears. Don't take my word for it, read their own literature websites and blogs. Educate yourself on the White Horse Prophecy. Understand what events they believe must take place for the lot set aside for a temple in Jackson County Missouri to be built and for Christ to return to reestablish temple worship. And then, write to Mr. Beck and ask him if he confirms that the “Holy Spirit” has revealed to him that the book of mormon is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I have done so, repeatedly with no response.
If, after you know the facts you would still like to call Mr. Beck a Christian, then do so. My Mother once told me not to believe all of the bad things other people say about anyone unless I know for myself that they are true. I asked her if I should believe the good things and she told me I should believe them even less. Someone else's opinion, especially someone else who I have never met, means little or nothing regarding issues like this. Mr. Beck seems to be a decent man, I agree with some of what he says and find him entertaining, this does not make him a Christian. Although I probably should accept wholesale the authority of respected Christian teachers regarding the content of another man's character, seeing as how that has worked out so well for us in the past. (George W ring any bells?)
Through some very interesting discussions with some old friends on facebook, I have been awakened to a fundamental shift in my thinking. They are of a much more conservative bent than I find myself to be in at the moment and are very adamant that what needs to happen is that the claws of the current leaders need to be removed from the throat of the eagle that represents this great republic so she can scream freedom once again. I tend to agree, that politically I am not all that comfortable with the way things are heading. I am not inclined to agree wholesale with their philosophy because I have fundamental differences of opinion on several levels.
First, they operate with the understanding that the political ideal they see most closely aligned with the Word of God is conservatism. Second, they believe that since conservatism, from their perspective, is closely related to the will of God that the opposing point of view must be diametrically opposed to it. This, my brilliant friend Dr. Barret Huddleston, Phd. Informs me, is called oppositional thinking.
This theory works well, as long as you are able to determine which is the right side to be on and then allow the other party to play the opposition. Otherwise you end up being led around by the nose opposing whatever absurd stand this other person takes, even if it seems to be in agreement with your own philosophy, you cannot agree, because if they are right, then who is wrong?
In the political climate, as it stands today, the Democrats stand on the liberal side of the proverbial, and literal, aisle and the Republicans stand on the conservative side. We stand there and throw stones at each other, we are not even trying to drag one another across the line, because then where would we be? It is a stalemate, designed to stay that way.
What about other options? There must be another way than what these two largest groups are saying. That, we are told, is political suicide. Don't vote your conscience, you will only be throwing away your vote, because one of the two will win anyway. Here's a question. If, as a believer in Jesus, I do not vote my conscience when it comes to something as important as who makes the choices that may effect my grandchildren then pardon my french, but, when the hell do I use it?
The “right” is working under three assumptions: A: God is interested in preserving the American constitution and political system. B: The system can be saved, and C: Things will be better if we put it back the way it was.
What if we put it back the way it was and we find that there was a lot wrong with this whole enchilada? (not saying there is, just asking) What if we tear the claws away from the throat of the eagle and hear a gobble instead of the grand scream we were all expecting? I know that many conservatives pride themselves on being Truth seekers.
In my experience this is true of them to a point. That point is this: Once they have become convinced of something's veracity. No matter how little evidence, experiential, Biblical or otherwise there is to support it, and no matter how much evidence there is stacked up on the other side that they may even agree with, a one legged man in a butt kicking contest would have a better chance of winning than you have of convincing them to give up their belief. Oppositional thinking.
I am not suggesting that the liberals have been right all along. Dear God, I hope not. But maybe there is a third option, or a fourth even, that we have not explored. I know what you are going to say “Tea Party” but I think that ship has sailed. I think the big idea people have taken it over and it will soon look the same as the other two and then pass out of existence due to its own irrelevance.
What if we all got off? What if we let them duke it out between each other and just loved on both sides? What if neutrality, rather than the sign of weakness many have taken it for, is rather a sign of a man who knows that he is not destined for this world and its kingdoms anyway? I have eight children so my legacy is already assured. I will have an impact in this world for good or for evil (I'm working for good) no matter what the politicians decide to do with it.
So, I am asking God what he wants. As Jesus prayed in the garden. Lord, if it be your will that this great nation survive and thrive, then let it be! But not what I want, your will be done! Have you asked him? Really asked him? And then sat long enough for your own voice to stop ringing in your ears to listen for the still small voice? If you have and you are convinced that you are still right, go for it. More power to ya! But I think there are a lot of people who got on the bus because they saw people they wanted to be associated with, the right kind of people, getting on the bus.

Never start a conversation with a person you have not spoken to in twenty years, when they were fifteen, with; “You're an atheist? What the hell? Have you lost your mind?” This recently happened to one of my brothers when a well meaning childhood friend of ours discovered his decision to stop practicing Christianity on Face Book and posted the above on his wall. Mild obscenity aside, this question sparked no debate, or meaningful rekindling of an old friendship which may have led to the opportunity to speak into someone's life. It inspired one thing; a “click” on the mouse as my brother de-friended him.
We have all heard the old saying, “Love the sinner, hate the sin”. I personally have eradicated it from my vocabulary and am working on erasing it from my thinking as well. I found that focusing on the “hate the sin” part was distracting me from the “love the sinner part”. This was brought home to me when I recently watched the first season of “Survivor” again and noticed that while I had despised the infamous Richard Hatch, (the first winner, for the uninitiated) during the run of the program, his actions looked much different to me now. I said as much to my wife and the first words out of her mouth were profound, “I think it must have been because he was gay.” At first I chuckled, but that bothered me later.
Now, let me explain something; I do believe that any type of sex outside of marriage is against God's law, homosexuality included. I will take one step further and say that I believe that that particular sexual proclivity is forbidden in scripture and is always sin, regardless of the commitment between the two parties. However, I also think that when Jesus said, “Be careful when you judge...for the same judgment you dish out, will come back to you.” (paraphrasing of course, although I know for a fact that he didn't say it in the king's best English either) that he meant this: If you feel burdened to start every conversation with a known “sinner” by revealing that God hates their sin, or even if you are being their “friend” while biding your time, waiting for the precise right opportunity to reveal this liberating bit of information, which you are sure of course will reduce them to a ball of blubbering repentance and lead them to a life of holiness that may even rival your own, you should think twice.
Homosexuality is sin, so is: the magazine taped under your bedside table drawer, the website you think nobody knows you are on and the bottle inside your toilet tank. It is no more sin than watching a movie that helps you entertain thoughts you don't need, singing along to that song on your Ipod when no one is listening and engaging in the conversation that starts with, “You didn't hear it from me, but...”. Not to mention calling what plays on top 40 radio these days music. Way back in the good ole days of the 80's we had songs that described sex in obscure, poetic metaphorical language, instead of the vulgar, crass, clinical descriptions they use today. (with a few notable exceptions such as “I Want Your Sex”) Or, how about the blatant lack of artistry in such lyrics as “My life would suck without you” or “just like a tattoo, I'll always have you” (although the second is, technically, a metaphor, I suppose). My point being: these are crimes against society, at least, if not technically sin.
We seem to have forgotten the golden rule “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” We have substituted our own wording: “Do unto others of equal economic status, like minded political affiliations and a level of acceptable righteousness in their personal moral behavior, as you would have them do unto you, and condemn the rest for what they are! Expose their sin, to save their souls, of course, and warn everyone of the danger they represent to prevent further decay in our holy society.”
Wow! That last bit sounds just like Jesus, don't you think?

I grew up conservative. My father was a Church of Christ minister. My mother was the daughter of a Church of Christ minister. My parents were part of the foundation of Eagle Forum and Right to Life in the communities my Father preached in at the time. The Church of Christ, as the old saying goes, is so conservative, they don't believe in premarital sex because it leads to dancing. In fact, I sat on the stage in gym class while my classmates learned to square dance. I sat in the library while my classmates went to the local high school pool because I wasn't allowed to engage in “mixed” swimming with members of the opposite sex, in the third grade. Consequently I did not learn to swim until the age of thirty.
When I was fourteen I became obsessed with politics. I studied government, as a homeschooler, on my own for the last five years of my school career. I read the constitution on a regular basis, and studied the writings of the founders. I became the youngest delegate from our district at the age of eighteen for the state republican convention, I paiged at the state capitol and helped Istook get elected as a campaign volunteer. I was dyed in the wool Republican and could not see how anyone that claimed to be a democrat and a Christian could possibly sleep at night, and might in fact be suffering from dissociative personality disorder.
My family came out of the frying pan into the fire by making the transition from the Church of Christ into a spirit filled charismatic Church, with three hour worship and lots of speaking in tongues, in the height of the charismatic renewal of the mid to late eighties. I was firmly convinced that the United States was God's plan for the salvation of the planet and in this environment the.re was no lack of voices to give me spiritual “confirmation” on that point
My disillusionment with this idea began some time after I was married, at age twenty, when the Church I was actively attending, and running an active drama ministry and serving as a volunteer youth intern in, began to fall apart. I, of course, had long ago realized that my parents were far from perfect, but my eyes were not opened yet to how flawed we all are. I believed in these men, our pastors and elders, as “men of God”, which they were. But, my understanding of this went through a major paradigm shift when they began to make secretive decisions and hand down edicts that effected myself, my ministry and my good friends who were pastors there.
It sent me back to the study of scripture which had been a huge part of my upbringing, and was an active part of my life but became needed rather than something I did because I was supposed to. My father's pattern had always been to teach through the entire Bible every year, hitting high points along the way. Until I was twenty I could count the number of Sundays I was not in a pew, in my entire life, so I knew scripture. My own study had paralleled my father's preaching and I loved nothing better than to sit in the corner of his study and discuss the Bible with him. This time I began to see things a little differently.
I had always believed that my own family was poor due in some way to my father's failings. My beliefs dictated that some sin, or wrong attitude, had brought him to the place he deserved to be. He had left the ministry when we moved from the Church of Christ, and the Church I was serving in went so far as to disallow him to pray for people, (on a prayer team he had been instrumental in founding), because his financial failures were (obviously) a distinct indication that he was in grave sin.
But, I had begun to notice a pattern in the teachings of Christ. He seemed to have little good to say about money and the rich, while his heart for the poor is obviously stirred. I tracked down the roots of this and found that the Mosaic and Levitical law that I had been told and had believed was the foundation of conservatism, and capitalism, has a lot to say about how the poor were to be treated. Land owners were commanded to leave a percentage of their fields unharvested so that the poor, the orphans and widows and aliens (immigrants from other countries) could gather and eat the crop. This was in addition to their tithes. The children of Israel were commanded to treat strangers in their land as well or even better, in some cases, than their brothers. One third of the tithe was to be set aside in each city as a store house for the poor and alien, to provide sustenance for them.
I had also always believed that the law of sowing and reaping governed success in life, and that a person was responsible to dig themselves out when things went awry. I believed that if I failed it was because I had stepped outside of God's will for me and that my time, money and every word out of my mouth had to be accounted for by the most draconian measures, that any deviation from “good stewardship”, was grounds for the wrath of God to be unleashed in my life and that poverty was a judgment from God. Counter to this was the belief that capitalism was “God's system” that he intended for us to build wealth for future generations, and that he had a plan for me that would lead to that wealth. Of course this meant that profit, so long as it was honestly and legally gained, was always good, no matter what the means.
If this was true, why had God forbidden his children from charging interest on loans, and further more, why were all debts forgiven every seven years? By the way this is the basis for our modern day bankruptcy court. But bankruptcy, of course was the ultimate sign of God's disfavor. How could a good person, with God's best in mind for his fellow man, ever come to such a low point that he could not pay back what he owed.
The problem with this is, well, Jesus. He tells us to give to those who have no means to repay. He tells a story of a master who forgives debts and he tells a young man to take his family fortune and give it all to the poor, the same poor who were obviously so irresponsible that they had lost their own money, or were unable to hear God's whispered hints about their own personal road to riches. Then,when this man goes away sad because he was very wealthy, Jesus says it is harder for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to find his way into the kingdom of God. WOW
He also said, “Do not store up treasure for yourselves on Earth”. He told a story about a farmer who, instead of giving from his wealth to the poor decided to build a bigger barn to horde it all. He goes on to say that the man's soul was required of him that night and asked, “who will have your wealth now.”
So, what do I think was God's plan? Why did he chide those who were ready to stack coins end to end to the sky and create a system that reshuffled the deck every seven years? Because he knew our tendency to become attached, to fall to idol worship. He knew that, unchecked, the amassing of wealth would become greed, that greed would lead to power and that power would be abused, destroying the weak and the poor. This is why Christ also said, “No man can serve two masters, he will love the one and hate the other or hate the first and love the second, you cannot serve God and the wealth of this world.”
What do I believe this means? I don't fully know. Here's what I do know. Conservatism is a man made ideal that is built on trying to enforce enough rules to make one Godly. Liberalism is a man made ideal that frequently refuses to hold anyone accountable for their actions. God is a God of mercy and grace who holds all of us accountable to a standard that is impossibly high, then, in a stroke of genius, he sacrifices himself in the form of his Son to pay the price for me to meet the standard.
So, as for me, I swear no allegiance to any kingdom but the kingdom of God. I strive to be the best citizen of the country in which He has placed me because that is what He has called me to, not because I owe anything to any government. I choose to spend my time and energy in furthering the cause of the one that shed his blood for me and not anyone's political agenda. I will vote my conscience, as I believe all American's should, and when I cannot I will abstain from voting rather than default to a party candidate on either side. I will fight for justice for the poor and the alien as I believe He has called me to and I will strive to remember that He seeks to reconcile ALL of the nations of the Earth to himself, not just ours, and I will pray and work for that in any way that he calls me to, as fearlessly, tirelessly and guilelessly as he gives me strength to be.
In short I choose to LOVE, LOVE, SERVE
Love God
Love Others
Serve Everyone

Abraham, David, Moses, Noah, King Saul, Peter.. these are just a few of the colossally screwed up men that God has called into his service throughout history. Some of them recovered, more; crashed, burned and were never heard from again. Arguably the most successful revivalist of all time, Jonah, even had the nerve to complain that the God --who drug him from the belly of the whale and allowed him to lead the entire “Sin City” of his day into repentance-- did not provide the fireworks he had promised by destroying the wicked city with brimstone.
Abraham lied to a Pharaoh, claiming his wife was his sister and was called a Father of the faith. David was an adulterer and murderer whose own family was so dysfunctional, one of his sons raped his sister and David's inaction drove his son Absalom to rebel and attempt a coup. David was called a friend of God. His son Solomon is widely known as the wisest man that ever lived, and yet had no less than 700 wives and concubines and practiced pagan idol worship.
The Bible is made up of very human people who made horrendously bad decisions at all almost every turn. In fact it sometimes seems the only good choice they all hold in common was the decision to say yes to the call of God on their lives to fulfill a specific purpose in a specific season.
With a few notable exceptions, including Samuel and several Kings of Israel, it seems that God has intended to showcase his ability to work through individuals whose track records are less than stellar. Why? Why doesn't God choose a Righteous man and preserve him from childhood instead of a prophet like Elijah who calls down fire from heaven and then almost immediately sinks into a self destructive fit of depression? (and remember he was called to the mountain when Christ was transfigured) I can think of at least two reasons.
First, the only people I know are those who realize how deeply flawed they are, or those who are about to discover it painfully. The human condition is the reason that all of us, without the redeeming sacrifice of Christ, are destined for damnation. All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God as a favorite verse goes.
Second, if there was such a person what would we immediately do? Enshrine him. Our attachment to this earthly plain is so strong, and our understanding of its transitory nature is so weak that anything that appears as perfection is immediately worshiped. (By the way, we Christians would never “idolize” or “worship” a man, but we sure build pedestals so we can “look up” to them)
God needs us to recognize his position. This allows us to submit our wills to him so that he can work through us. Anyone that comes between us and God confuses us. It is so much easier to relate to a man who we can knock down off his pedestal once he know longer serves us. This need for human leadership, rather than a Father son relationship with God is what drove the children of Israel to ask for a king, and is, I believe, the reason that we have created the edifice of “Pastor”--a word, ironically, only used once in the New Testament in reference to anything other than a group of leaders, also known as elders—to serve as a defacto priest and dispense God's wisdom.
So, what, you ask, am I suggesting? That we do away with the professional ministry and let the spiritual anarchy ensue? Nothing quite as radical as that. I merely suggest that they, like us, are human and prone to the same temptations, weaknesses and problems that we all face. This should serve as a reason to protect and hold these men up, not as examples to be discarded when they fail, but as teachers who give up their lives to study and pray and hold the hands of the sick and dying and put everyone before themselves, as we all should, to lead us into the presence of God as brothers.
Next time that you begin to feel that your pastors, or spiritual leaders, are unapproachable and on another plane, find a way to reach out. More likely than not you will find a sometimes lonely, sometimes hurting, sometimes guilt ridden, sometimes joyous, sometimes triumphant, scared, faithful, confused, inspired, loving, impatient, kind, selfish, giving ball of humanity who probably feels that true friends who understand that he is just a man who loves Jesus the best he knows how, are too few and far between.

The only hope is Jesus. A good friend, who also happens to be the lead pastor where my family and I worship said it better than I last Sunday. Check out the February 14th sermon for a dose of reality that may be a bit of a shock to your system, but sometimes good medicine stings a little on the way down. Check it out HERE
Today was rather more now than then in my life. For the past fifteen years I have been directing youth theatre for a company I was once a member of myself. For more than twenty years it changed hands from one owner to the next always providing opportunity for whoever showed up, and doing a pretty good job of entertaining an audience too. Today that ended. We knew it was pretty bad. We'd been losing money for a while, but my wife and kids love theatre almost as much as I do, so we perservered.
We had decided on a number, if that many paying customers walked through our doors today for the first day of class, great, if not,we were through. We had three. Less than ten percent of our minimum. Three, almost a slap in the face. So, we sent them home with a refund and locked the doors. Now what? This has been my life for the past decade and a half, the only job I ever really wanted. Sometimes all we can do is survive the Fall and wait for God to pick us up. Some days just suck out loud!

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